The REAL truth...

There is something wrong with me. I have a mental problem.

I've been too afraid to admit it because of what it might mean... but Ruth is right... I am screwed up.

For years I've had an unnaturally large emotional strain... if my friends make "bad" choices in my opinion, I fly off the handle.... you know, I won't go into details because it doesn't matter, what matters is that I need to seek psychiatric help for my problems.

Ruth... thank you for finally saying something... I CANNOT express how pissed off at myself I am right now, you've been a great friend to me, all of you have, and look at what I've done... I AM messed up and I DO need help.

I just called Pastor Mitch on the phone... he didn't answer but I left him a voicemail, I told him what's been going on (I didn't give him details of anything involving any particular person), I just told him what I've been doing and I asked him to call me so I could get some counseling from him...

I WILL deal with this and I WILL get better...

I just really hope I can start over with you all, I hope it's not too late now...