Words as a Weapon

I've done it again.. spoke before really thinking about it.

HOWEVER... I am sort of glad I did it, because at least it has woken up me that I really do have a great friend in Sara despite the way I tend to doubt her, and people in general. I guess I need to learn to just trust her.

I need to talk to Stu. I think he considers me a good friend... but it's hard to tell. I don't know if Miles is whispering in his ear, because I know Miles doesn't think much of me... but I should just talk to him about it. If he's really a true friend, which I really think he is... he'll understand.

As far as Miles goes, who knows what to do. I've had a heart to heart with him before but it's like he's forgotten everything we talked about. What we talked about had nothing to do with our friendship, but I did talk to him about how I am somewhat of a depressed person, and I'm struggling to free myself from that. It's not easy. Sometimes I think the only way I'll ever get through to him is just to beat his ass.

Jessica... I tried talking to her. I knew she didn't like talking about these type of things... but I couldn't take it anymore. She'd put me through enough, she was going to hear it one way or another, and wouldn't you know it, the truth just poured out. She never felt comfortable hanging out with just me, she doesn't agree with me line of thinking (I don't know what she meant by that)... this was a long time coming, and she FINALLY spoke the truth. About time.

I'm working on my problem with thinking too much... but when you have nothing to do but sit alone at home all day, your mind goes into overdrive. I have to stop doing that. I need a hobby.