Should I respect you for your service...

...or despise you because you're an asshole?

It sucks. Somebody I thought was a good friend, although I didn't know him well... he sure seemed to be a great guy, very nice and good mannered... and he's acting like a jerk.

He's torn a rift right down the center of our group at church. Me, Stu, Sara, Miles, and Jess used to hang out pretty much every Sunday and/or Wednesday.

Nick has come into the middle of that. Yeah, Jess works pretty much all the time now, so count her out... Sara does sometimes too, but at least she's not blind to what's going on like Miles and Stu are.

Not even Miles, so much anymore, but Stu just... I don't know, he was one of my best friends, nicest guy you'd ever meet but now I feel like he's just giving me the cold shoulder.

What has happened is that Nick has come into the picture (awesome, no problem there), brought his toys (4x4 trucks, demo derby car, sand rail), and chosen who he wants to be a part of that.

So, every Sunday, I'm left out. Miles and Stu get to hang out with him, hot rod around in the truck or sand rail or whatever, and I'm just told "Sorry man, we're all going to my house to play with the cars, we can't hang out with you today". Almost literally word for word.

It's fucking bullshit. Fuck Nick, really, I respect that he's served in Iraq, but he's an asshole and I shouldn't have to kiss his ass just because he's been to war, I'm not letting him walk all over me. It's as if he thinks his status as an Iraq War Vet gives him some supreme right to pick and choose who is cool enough to hang out with him. He comes into my group of friends and plucks a couple of them away, leaving me all by myself.

I did get to spend a little time with Jess today. It was nice actually having time to catch up with her, she's been really busy lately. Our friendship is pretty much back to where it was during and just after the Milwaukee trip. It's quite a relief.

Chris isn't coming back to MI to visit... bums me out... I want to go down there to visit, but not only can I not afford it, I can't take that much time off work.

Tim and Morgan got married yesterday. It was a nice wedding... but seeing them up there did a LOT to settle in the fact that I am an adult now. I'm really scared as to what that means... I don't want to get lost in the working world with no time for fun, lose all my friends to various reasons... which I know is inevitable but MAN it's going to suck, I'm not entirely over my depression and if I'm not better by then, it's going to be my hardest battle yet... I'm going to have to seriously look at other options to help me through depression because it's going to hit me hard, and if it's any harder than it was in 9th grade, I might not make it through.

Enough scary stuff... just letting my mind get ahead of me.