One is the loneliest number...

Loneliness, my biggest fear, is overtaking me. I'm SO lonely... I can't even describe how awful it feels.

I don't wish this feeling on anybody. It's almost like suffocation... constant suffering with no end in sight.

I try to smile and be easy going around people... but I feel like I'm struggling to find an excuse to STAY with people, trying to sell myself to them so as soon as they get some free time they'll give me a call and say "hey nick, let's go hang out!".

I feel like I'm annoying them by always inviting them to do things or asking them what they're doing for the day... because they ARE always doing something, and it's like me asking them is almost as if I'm laying a guilt trip down because they don't have room for me.

This loneliness is not healthy, and I can't guilt my friends into making time for me... it's not fair to them, because they have a lot going on in their lives as it is.

I just wish I was part of it...