Carpe Diem

Latin - Sieze the Day.

Steal it. Own it. Live every day as if tomorrow no longer exists.

After all, you have been dying since the day you were born.

We all have.

The moment of your conception is the furthest point from death you will EVER be.

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It's funny how these online diaries/journals/blogs never cease to ruin a friendship.

"Friendship".

The true test of what a friendship can withstand is when you learn everything about a person, and realize that you have some VERY contrasting traits, but yet you don't let them come between you. It's ok to voice your concern, frustration, opinion... On either side.

But how far can you push until the elastic tears?

I found the limits of a "friendship" of mine. It's a major loss for me, ya know, but what can I do? I am most definitely not the only one who feels this way about this particular subject, but everyone else seems to have the divine knowledge that when you try to intervine in someones mistakes, it's only going to leave YOU hurting. That's how it goes. I didn't know that... I do NOW, but its too late.

I guess there's a fine balance between holding someone accountable, and knowing when to let someone make their own mistakes. If I'm wrong for not finding the balance, so shoot me. Major deal there!!!

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Carpe Diem. You only have so long on this earth to do your business... to be the person you want to be.

You can't tell God "just 5 more minutes" as if you're in bed not wanting to rush off to school just yet... Your time comes when it comes and if you miss the bus, well, you've got hell to pay.

What are we all doing waiting around like this?

Especially me!!! All this preaching I do about how we have to get it together... and what am I doing about it?? Absolutely nothing! Believe me that it's in my heart to be a "good Christian", but I'm so lazy about it...

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Sara is right. This blog thing is a horrible waste of time. It's nice to vent and put your thoughts down... but some thoughts are to be kept to ones self, not shared... When you share your thoughts and your misgivings, that's when problems occur.

I am thankful for great friends like Sara who are willing to look past disagreements... but I regret ever getting to the point where I had to find out that one of my friendships simply wasn't all that great after all. I'll miss Ruth, really, but its all up to her now, and I've pushed her too far.

I'm not writing in this anymore. The last time I had an online journal at freeopendiary.com, bad things happened.

I mentioned in my very first entry how the last time I had one of these, it almost destroyed my life... And while this time its not on such a grand scale, losing a friend is a major deal to me, and its not going to go down easy.

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Master of puppets, I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind, smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name cause I'll hear you scream

MASTER, MASTER