Ok.. well then...

So why is it that I get so worked up?

Why do I let myself get all pissed off and STILL don't make a stand when I should?

I have a problem so I run away and come home to pout, sit here all alone at my computer and bitch about it to people who don't give a shit...

When what I really need to do is be up front with the people who are causing me to feel this way. Sadly, I know they'll overreact about it and never speak to me again.

Jessica, wake the hell up, you complain about not wanting certain guys to like you, yet all you ever do is lead them on. Ok, flirting is one thing, but you when press yourself up against them and cuddle and all that shit, what the hell do you expect them to think? Huh? ESPECIALLY in my case, holding my hand, and getting mad at ME for thinking it meant something? What the hell... You have to wake up and realize that you need to have a little more respect for your friends, AND yourself. What you did to me was wrong, what you're doing to MILES is wrong. You know it, you said so yourself, so why do you continue? Hmm? Yeah, maybe you're just not as smart as you pretend to be because you obviously don't have enough common sense to figure this one out. If you simply keep your body off of Miles' body, he won't think you like him... WOW what a concept!

Miles, give it a rest. I'm getting REALLY sick of you thinking you're better than everybody. I know you're rubbing this whole Jessica thing in my face, you know I like her... and you think that because you're just the sexiest guy on earth that she wants you, and I'm a loser cause she'll never want me. Well friend, I have news, she doesn't like you, she's using the hell out of you just like she did to me. Arrogance and ignorance go hand in hand, and unforunately its causing you to not see what she is doing. And seriously, if you continue to treat me-or anyone else like shit, I'm going to get in your face and everyone is going to see the side of me that I never wanted them to see. I think Chris and AJ are the only ones that know what side I am talking about.

You see, if I told these people what I want to say... they would hate me. But I guess maybe it's the price I have to pay to keep my head from exploding...

I have pretty much no choice but to give up church. I can't put up with Miles and Jessica anymore, I just can't stand it and I don't want to see either of them anymore. At least not for a while.