Come to Rest

Things are clearing up for me, finally. I'm done with worry. I mean, I still worry... I still have that little nagging monster in the back of my head that tries to analyze everything everybody says... but I'm suppressing it, and so far I'm doing a good job of it.

I'd love to be invited to the bar with a friend or something, just to show that I AM a friend.

There are times when I will have to stand up for my beliefs, but those times will only be when things get serious... and if I see a friend doing something that may seriously hurt them, I'll have to step in, whether or not they get mad at me. I'd want someone to do the same for me.

I can be the old me again... I've narrowed down the cause for my state of mental agony lately... and I realized that a lot of it has to do with not having a "best friend" to have a heart to heart with on a regular basis.

It USED to be Chris. We'd talk on the phone a lot about phylisophical things, religion, ethics and morals. It was very theraputic for both of us to sort out our thoughts and be able to bounce opinions off of one another, mainly because he never judged me and I never judged him. We had a mutual respect that we needed to do things our own seperate ways, but we could still TALK about those things to each other and it helped us both through high school.

Since we've been distant, I've not had another person to talk to the same way. So these thoughts build up inside my head and eventually release in a destructive manner... meaning, I blog about them, and since it's not in the form of a conversation such as Chris and I used to have, it would be 100% my side of things with no opposing view interjected, and it would offend those with opposing views.