Natural Selection

I don't know... it's more of a sick feeling than an annoyance, something that really tears at my heart and honestly, truly, completely makes me sick inside.

To know that no matter what I have to offer, how much love is in my heart, my ability to care, cherish, be faithful and loyal...

When it comes down to it, if you're not sexy, you're a loser, and that's that. Plain and frikkin simple.

I know I act pretty weird sometimes.. well, most of the time. But I figured that by now, most people would realize that that's just my light side, I'm not really like that 100% of the time, and I'm CERTAINLY not like that around everyone. I'm a pretty serious, calm, collected person when I'm at work, or back when I was in school...

ya know I don't know why I'm bothering to start promoting myself, it doesn't matter, what matters is the fact that I'm simply not attractive enough. No. I'm not tall and muscular with long blonde hair and bronze skin, I can't play guitar and I'm too afraid to sing in front of anyone, I'm not really good at ANYTHING... there is absolutely nothing about me that makes girls say "Hey, I wonder if maybe, just maybe Nick would make a good boyfriend"... No, forget anything of any REAL value, it's purely about sexual attraction, what makes the girls feel that special feeling.

Fuck love, it doesn't matter anymore, girls want to live in a fairy tale world of "the perfect guy" and how he's gonna carry them off into the sunset on his noble steed and all that bullshit.

You know what I want? I want a girl who is down to earth. I want a girl who doesn't give a shit if I'm not the hottest guy in the world, I want a girl who is interested in me for who and what I AM, not who they want me to be.

And do you know what that means? It means I'm going to be alone forever, because that girl simply does NOT exist.